You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise: you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely…For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:1-3,13,16

Friday, October 28, 2011

Eli 1 month

Eli is so precious to us already.  I am finding it hard to believe that he is 4 1/2 weeks old already!  Right now he loves to eat. He will take short spans of time in his bouncy chair, but mostly he likes to be held close to mommy.  He likes baths and will lie very still with wide eyes while you bathe him or sprinkle water on his tummy.  He is very good at spraying  mommy with pee-pee during the night or when he gets into the warm bath.  He is very gassy! Little Eli toots a lot! and big Man burps after eating.  Mom has to make sure to burp him well so that he doesn't have lots of pain with tummy gas.
This month we are starting to work on our sleep patterns.  Eli is a good sleeper if he is being held but does not like to sleep in cradle or crib alone.  I am re-reading Babywise for some encouragement on my technique for training him.   Round one at nap time today went poorly.  It ended with both of us crying and me holding Eli for his nap.  I talk a mean game but when your baby is crying so hard he chokes and is beat red because he is so mad, you pick him up.  So Eli: 1 Mom: 0----I have decided that we won't try again until I have some moral support.  Also maybe we will start working our way up to nap time alone by doing small stretches of time in bed without being held. 
The thing is I hate it because I want to hold him and snuggle him all day long, but nothing gets done that way.  And he needs to learn how to sleep and fall back asleep and soothe himself during the night on his own.  I can already see that shots aren't going to go well… his cries just break my heart even if it is for his own good!
One thing I have learned already is that I will never criticize someone's parenting decisions---you don't know what you will do until you have your own child.  If it weren't dangerous I would just let him sleep with me but that wouldn't be best for our marriage or for him; it would just be the easy thing to do.
Also I am already dreading going back to work in December, even though it is just part-time.  It will be tough to leave this little guy.  It is still so amazing to me that he is mine…that I have my very own child. I just want to sit and look at his little face all day.  I could kiss him a million times and stroke his cheek and change his diapers and hold him forever.  I love this age. I love him so much and I can't imagine anything more precious.  God gave me this little guy to care for and he outweighs any other task.  I can't even bare to think about going back to work and how much I will miss him!
I left him with my mom while Neil and I went on a dinner date a week or so ago.  It was tough but I see the need for spending time with my hubby.  I am looking forward to being able to work out again so Neil and I can run or work out together. I think it will help me emotionally and physically to feel better if I can get back to my old self and my old size.  Right now I just look like I have a beer gut and that can't be attractive.  Also I am ready for Eli to get his shots so we feel more comfortable about taking him places.  I am ready to go back to church and I am ready to show off my little peanut.  
For now here are his one month pictures, I took several photos.

Little Tiger Fan

Halloween picture/1 month, Little lamb is bigger than he is! I bet that doesn't last long.

Silly Faces!

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