You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise: you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely…For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:1-3,13,16

Friday, October 28, 2011

Eli 1 month

Eli is so precious to us already.  I am finding it hard to believe that he is 4 1/2 weeks old already!  Right now he loves to eat. He will take short spans of time in his bouncy chair, but mostly he likes to be held close to mommy.  He likes baths and will lie very still with wide eyes while you bathe him or sprinkle water on his tummy.  He is very good at spraying  mommy with pee-pee during the night or when he gets into the warm bath.  He is very gassy! Little Eli toots a lot! and big Man burps after eating.  Mom has to make sure to burp him well so that he doesn't have lots of pain with tummy gas.
This month we are starting to work on our sleep patterns.  Eli is a good sleeper if he is being held but does not like to sleep in cradle or crib alone.  I am re-reading Babywise for some encouragement on my technique for training him.   Round one at nap time today went poorly.  It ended with both of us crying and me holding Eli for his nap.  I talk a mean game but when your baby is crying so hard he chokes and is beat red because he is so mad, you pick him up.  So Eli: 1 Mom: 0----I have decided that we won't try again until I have some moral support.  Also maybe we will start working our way up to nap time alone by doing small stretches of time in bed without being held. 
The thing is I hate it because I want to hold him and snuggle him all day long, but nothing gets done that way.  And he needs to learn how to sleep and fall back asleep and soothe himself during the night on his own.  I can already see that shots aren't going to go well… his cries just break my heart even if it is for his own good!
One thing I have learned already is that I will never criticize someone's parenting decisions---you don't know what you will do until you have your own child.  If it weren't dangerous I would just let him sleep with me but that wouldn't be best for our marriage or for him; it would just be the easy thing to do.
Also I am already dreading going back to work in December, even though it is just part-time.  It will be tough to leave this little guy.  It is still so amazing to me that he is mine…that I have my very own child. I just want to sit and look at his little face all day.  I could kiss him a million times and stroke his cheek and change his diapers and hold him forever.  I love this age. I love him so much and I can't imagine anything more precious.  God gave me this little guy to care for and he outweighs any other task.  I can't even bare to think about going back to work and how much I will miss him!
I left him with my mom while Neil and I went on a dinner date a week or so ago.  It was tough but I see the need for spending time with my hubby.  I am looking forward to being able to work out again so Neil and I can run or work out together. I think it will help me emotionally and physically to feel better if I can get back to my old self and my old size.  Right now I just look like I have a beer gut and that can't be attractive.  Also I am ready for Eli to get his shots so we feel more comfortable about taking him places.  I am ready to go back to church and I am ready to show off my little peanut.  
For now here are his one month pictures, I took several photos.

Little Tiger Fan

Halloween picture/1 month, Little lamb is bigger than he is! I bet that doesn't last long.

Silly Faces!

Friday, October 14, 2011

How it went down

I didn't talk much about how the C-section happened and what it was like.  I was so nervous and excited that I didn't sleep much the night before. Neil's parents came into town and we had a nice dinner. I took a bath and went to bed early but couldn't sleep.  At around 3 in the morning, I had to get up and go to the restroom, I was having lots of cramping so I took another bath and tried to relax.  Finally at about 3:30 am I got back in bed and slept for about 30 minutes. Then it was time to wake up and get clothes on to get to the hospital for my 5 am call time!  I was so nervous that I took us to the wrong floor first. We went to the nursery floor and then had to take the elevator back down to Labor and Delivery.  They got me a room very quickly then gave me a gown and hooked up my IV and monitor for the baby and contractions.  All that stomach trouble was because I was contracting fairly frequently but Eli was doing great---he had one little heart-rate drop when I almost fainted during the IV fiasco. It had to be replaced and part of it came loose and I bled like a stuck pig.  (I think I could watch someone else bleed to death but if I see my own blood, it is all over!)  About that time the family all made it there, and we hung out until it was time to go to the operating room.  Once in the OR, I moved over to the operating table.  Instead of an epidural, I got a spinal injection to numb me from the waist down. It was not bad at all.  I felt a few tiny pricks then some pressure.  Almost immediately my legs got numb and I relaxed.  There were several nursing students (I found out later) watching my surgery and they ended up helping to take care of me the next day.  It was kind of cool, but at the time of surgery it was weird.  As soon as my legs started to numb, they pulled up my gown and started the catheter.  Modesty was not an option ; ) Everyone in there saw all of my business.  Then Neil was allowed into the OR and they started very quickly.  My doctor and another one came in and talked to me while they were working.  They allowed Neil to watch it all over the curtain and even told him he could take pictures, which I vetoed.  I felt a lot of tugging and pushing/ pulling but no pain.  I have never been so happy to hear a cry before.  My doctor said something about him pooping and then immediately said he was peeing too. "All the pipes are working!" Then they moved him to the side of me so I could see and weighed and measured, performed his APGAR test (9). Then they let Neil carry him back to the recovery room.  After they were done with me, Neil, Eli and I were able to bond for a little while and I was allowed to nurse Eli.  HE did great, latched right on and has been a great little eater.  Then our family was allowed to come in and visit and get to see Eli.  They took great care of us. All of the nurses were so good to me and made me comfortable the entire time I was there.  I was comfortable enough to want to stay an extra night just to make sure I was good to go home.   The only bad spot of Eli's birth was that he had a terrible case of baby acne.  It was so severe around his eyes that his little eyes were swollen shut almost and very red and splotchy.  It was the worst on the day of his circumcision; that was a tough day for both of us.  He was not himself due to the anesthetic they used and his baby acne made him look pitiful.  I cried and was emotional all day and even a week later looking at pictures of that day.  He looks perfect now and there is no sign of the baby acne bumps that were there.  Honestly, the pain was minor and there was never a time when I would say my pain even went above a level 5…I did take some Lortab a few times to keep it low.  In all the C-section was no problem and I would do it again for sure.  I don't have anything to compare it to but it was quick and my baby was delivered safely and relatively pain free.  I feel so blessed to have this little guy here.

Neil and I getting ready to go to the OR. Neil in his fancy outfit.

Me getting to hold Eli for the first time. Neil is a proud dad!

Looking at his little face…still can't feel my legs at this point ; )

My mom holding Eli.

Sweet little face.  already sucking on his little fingers.

JO JO holding baby ELi

Neil is watching over Eli very closely!

getting footprints for the baby book

finishing getting dressed, ready to go home

not happy

Mom and Dad soothing Eli

Proud parents!

Packed up and ready to ride

waiting for dad, who pulled up in…A NEW CAR!!!!

Dad loading Eli into the new car to go home

Mom getting in back seat to ride with Eli. Going Home!!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Week 1 Baby Eli

Well, Eli is here and everything else seems pale in comparison. The Csection went well. I am recovering slowly but thats because I am a busy-body and refuse to slow down.  I am leaning that I need to make us  a priority. I need to rest so I can care for him.  Eli was born 7lb 10oz and 20 1/2 inches long.  H had a bad case of baby acne on Day 2 and 3 but he looks much better now.  My baby is one week old! we have our first doctors appt in the morning!  pictures will be posted soon!

Here are some things we know about Eli:  He loves to nurse..he was born with a great suck reflex! yay!
 He can sleep through a freight train.
I think he already has a great sense of humor, he plays little games and smiles about them to himself.
Broccoli makes him have gas.
He will pee or poop upon removal of diaper!

Thanks for the prayers!