You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise: you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely…For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:1-3,13,16

Sunday, February 20, 2011


Our dog, Dixie had kind of a rough day today. She woke us up last night vomiting, a lot.  Currently, our dogs sleep with us in the bed. I have a feeling that may have to change soon. So last night we are snoozing away and I wake to the sound of wretching.  I am sympathetic to the fact that when you vomit it is difficult to try to get to a good place to go, however on the bed is possibly the worst place to vomit.  She sleeps there too so I know that she doesn't want to be sick there, but she couldn't help it.  Before we could clean it up good (by the way it was made more difficult by the fact that I can't see at all without my contact lenses or glasses and couldn't look for them while trying to look out for vomit) she started again. In all she threw up about six times, two of which were in the laundry room---she got moved from our room after round one--but hubby let her back in the bed around six (thank you very much Neil---he stayed on the couch) and she had round three in the bedroom.  All sheets and blankets have been washed and there has been no vomit since about 9am this morning.

This afternoon Neil worked in the yard and I sat outside and read a book for a little while because the weather was so nice.  The dogs barked and ran around.  Afterward, we decided to go for a drive in my car with the top down and see if there was a sno-cone place open.  We found one and it was so good to have the first one of the year. I can tell I am going to be craving those as often as I can get one this spring and summer!

When we got home, I was watching Dixie a little to see if she was acting normal and noticed that one of her eyes was a little more closed than the other(to any optometrist reading this I know that's called a ptosis), after looking closely I could tell that it was very swollen. Then I called her to me and looked and that eye was swollen almost shut with big hives on top and bottom but there was also a huge bump over the other eye and on the front of her chest and arms and on her tummy.  While we were gone she either got into an ant bed or was allergic to some of the bushes Neil was cutting. Daisy didn't break out at all and I didn't see an active ant bed so we aren't sure what happened.  I chopped up a Benadryl tablet and gave her a tiny little piece in some cheese.  Within just a few minutes the swelling around her eyes started to go down and she quit scratching.  I am watching her closely to make sure the vomiting and the hives aren't connected, but we hope that it is just a scary coincidence.  When you weigh six pounds it doesn't take much to get you down! I am just hoping I don't have to make a trip to the vet tomorrow morning with her or Daisy doesn't get it tonight!

That's about it for our day! Just hoping there is no more excitement tonight!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Dinner Station

I just wanted to share with you all that I am planning on making another trip to the Dinner Station to make some meals. I have done one round for myself and we liked almost all of the choices that I prepared.  This time I hope to do two rounds, one for someone else and one for our home.  I am going to try to get my mom to come with me and take pictures while I prepare it and package all of the stuff so you can see how it works and decide if it would be good for your family. I am planning to go on Saturday so hopefully I will be able to post all that along with prices that night.  For me the best thing about it was being able to use all of the spices and ingredients without having to buy them all myself. Also they supply the recipe, the containers, and cooking instructions for each meal.  If you needed to ask your husband to make it you could, it's step-by-step.  Also all of the meals can be frozen and thawed on the day you plan to eat them so you can save them for a time in the future. Finally, you can choose from a size of 3-4 servings or 6-8 servings. Almost all of the casseroles served us two maybe three meals (2 people-me and hubby) and the chicken and pork meals were three portions easy.   If anyone is interested in going with me Saturday morning, let me know I can make sure you get signed up and I think if 5 people go with a group you get an extra side dish!

I ended up having to sign up for Saturday, Feb 26, 10am-12pm. So it will be two weeks before I post about it again. Please message me though if you want to go that day with me!

Day by Day

Since I announced that I was pregnant, 3 other people I know have announced that they will be due in October as well.  I am excited for them as I am myself and can't wait to share all of the awesomeness (and not-so-awesomeness) that goes along with it.  Unfortunately, one of the people that I found out was pregnant was a patient of mine. This week when she came in for her follow-up, she had miscarried.  I took it really hard yesterday.  She was very stoic when she told me and I hugged her and teared up.  One thing that was nice was that I was able to talk to her about my experience and tell her that it was not her fault and that she could not blame herself.  She felt responsible…don't we all?…for something she had no control over and couldn't have stopped.  One thing that seemed good about the situation is that she was seeing a female practitioner who talked with her about everything and was sympathetic.  She said the hardest part was telling her family that she had lost the pregnancy.
   So many people who have not experienced miscarriage don't realize the reason the convention of waiting a little while before telling others about the pregnancy is because of the difficulty of that loss and sharing it afterward.  For a woman motherhood begins the moment you see the stick change color.  All the plans of 9 months pass before your eyes in a moment.  Listening to the heartbeat or seeing that little jelly bean on the monitor is icing on the cake, but you feel different instantly.  Your emotions and hope begin to grow along with that tiny little one. You never think that you will be the one who experiences that loss.  It happens more than you know or realize.  I think maybe I feel responsible for educating people about that. The way it feels when you are trying to get pregnant and everyone around you seems to be. (I haven't forgotten all you girls-You know who you are that are on my list---I think about you everyday-everytime I feel sick or rub my tummy and thank God for my blessing.) Or when you have a loss and others around you go on like nothing has changed.  It seems like your hope has been crushed. There is a line in a song right now…I think it might be Matthew West, the song is called Your Love. He says, "Though my innocence was taken, not everything was lost…" I have sung that song with lots of things in mind, but this in particular seems to be on my mind lately.  Sometimes as Christians we take for granted that things are easy when we follow God's ways, but we live in a fallen world. Sin is all around it and we mix in with it whether we want to or not. Our bodies aren't perfect, we aren't perfect, those around us are not perfect and because of all of that, we suffer. God hurts with us and he wishes it were not so. That's why he sent his son to conquer that suffering and death. Because of Him we won't be conquered by death, we will be raised to walk with Him again, with perfect bodies and minds made to praise Him and made to live forever with Him in eternity, free of sin and pain.  What a spectacular thing to look forward to!  Though my innocence was taken, not everything was lost----Though I can see how sinful this world is around me and though I feel the pain and hurt of my mortal body, not everything is lost-I will one day be able to walk with Jesus with all my scars healed and my innocence returned to me. I will one day walk in paradise with my Jesus if I just carry on with my eyes focused squarely on His face during my time down here.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

What were you expecting?

I want to say how incredibly sorry I am and how guilty I have been feeling for not writing for over a week!  I have grown so dependent on the prayers and encouragement that the followers of this blog have given me and in return I feel that I owe it to everyone who is reading to keep you updated on what is happening with us and our journey.  Unfortunately, I also have to balance that with what my husband wants and what is fair to my family…. so I have waited until things were somewhat settled and I had permission to post.  I guess I should have just talked about other things but I just couldn't think of anything else to write!

That being said I am SOOOOO happy to announce that I am FINALLY …EXPECTING! yes It's true! that stinking Clomid did the trick.  I give 100% of the credit to GOD and he is so good and amazing in the way He works. I believe He used a lot of tools to make it happen and to continue to build my faith through this struggle.

I really had given up on January and was sure that I would be doing another round of Clomid because I took a test and got a negative result.  I took the test a little early, but I was sure that I was having so many symptoms that it would surely be positive and then it wasn't.  I will admit it. I cried. I prayed for strength, took a hot bath, listened to some praise songs (John Waller) and resolved to remain positive and wait for my next chance.  I already had the next round of Clomid and I just needed to wait until my period started to get back on cycle.  But it never came! So I finally took another test and it was positive!  We got to go last week for our first OB appointment and were able to see and hear the little heartbeat.  Because of the crazy weather stuff Neil was able to go with me and hear and see it too.

So I am 6 weeks and 5 days today.  Our official due date is October 4!  I have been sick for the last week, but at least I have a happy reason.  I am hoping that part will end soon as I think Neil is already getting tired of me laying around and not eating much.  I do realize that it is still very early but after reaching the milestone of hearing the heartbeat, it would not save me any sadness if we were to wait to tell anyone.  The support and prayers that I will receive by announcing it are way too important to wait.  Also I know that at this point I need all the help I can get whether the news is good or bad.

I really am just praising God right now for His wonderous works.  We can't begin to thank everyone for their prayers and love and encouragement.  I plan to put as much information on here as I can.  I sometimes tend to be a little too honest so Neil will probably have to censor me a little.  Please continue praying for us for strength and good health and growth of this precious cargo.

I also want to ask that you continue praying for the Mullins family and all of those that were close with Vanessa.  I know they will continue to struggle with the loss of their mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.

Lastly, also please pray for K and D, my friends who are adopting from Africa.  They have an official court-date and will be going to meet their little one very soon, but will have to wait to bring him home until their second visit.  I can't imagine how difficult it will be to leave him after holding him and hugging him.  I am praying for his safety already and for their safety in travel.  Thanks again for all of your support and love!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Best cancelled flight ever

Well our flight out of Shreveport ended up getting canceled because of the massive snow and ice storm hitting the midwest. Needless to say the ski trip was not to be. So we canceled it all and had a "snow day" in Shreveport. Hubby and I took the girls to the groomer (pics to come soon) and then went to a movie. We saw "True Grit" and really liked it---especially with the inside joke about Dick's hatband…I know that has to be dirty but my mom swears it is from the old days…anyway we got some good laughs out of the movie and then had lunch. Hubby took me shopping for any early Valentine's present and then followed it up with some Fruiti Yogo.   If you haven't been you are missing out!  It is awesome, with fresh fruit toppings. Awesome day.
I plan to post some more about our adventures this week over the weekend. I currently have limited internet access so this will have to suffice for now.  Thanks for the continued prayers and concern.  I hope to have more details on my current situation available very soon!  Just know that they are still very necessary and appreciated!