You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise: you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely…For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:1-3,13,16

Monday, November 14, 2011

Getting things done

   Last week and continuing this week, I have been putting emphasis for myself on getting things done around the house: helping with cleaning, dinner, personal hygiene, clipping coupons again, taking care of the dogs, helping with dinner and even starting to work out again.  I am incredibly excited to start working out again, whether it is running or working out with Neil.  That is one thing that we have bonded over whether it is P90x or Insanity, which I am really looking forward to trying, we both do better when we work out together and when we have a goal to work toward.
   Last Friday, I finally got a real bath, including shaving everywhere that needed shaving, not just armpits, washing my hair, and even scrubbing my face with exfoliators.  It was fabulous.  Eli is a good sleeper, but  I was having trouble managing my time.  I would jump in and out of the shower if I had a chance to do that or I would watch him sleep or hold him instead of getting something done.  I am learning to allow him to fall asleep in his bouncy chair or put him in his bed and not hover over him.  It's tough though I just want to kiss every inch of his face every five minutes.  I can't imagine being more in love…(as much as I love my husband--this little guy is still so perfect in my eyes--he is an amazing combination of the both of us) I want to spend every second taking care of him and showering love on him.  But I also know it is important for Neil and I to have couple time and we have been on a few dates, letting my mom keep him for us.  That is helping me to mentally prepare for the big step of going back to work.  I am starting slow-two days a week- but that is overwhelming to me!  It will be helpful in getting back to normal though.
   Yesterday I took the giant step of going through my closet (continuing today) and getting out the maternity clothes for storage and exchanging my summer for winter clothes.  Then I got to try on those winter clothes to determine if I had anything to wear.  The answer was…not much.  The things that fit definitely looked different.  I am not complaining.  Eli was worth every pound and every ounce of sweat it takes me to get back in shape.  I just know my body is a totally unrecognizable to me.  I can't wear the same types of things or sizes I used to.  Some of it is my Dolly Parton boobs, the other seems to be a combination of hips/thighs.  I have always had some body issues--enjoying my pregnancy belly was a learning process but it was so special because of the blessing that was growing inside.  Now there's nothing in there but uterus and fat stores.  Looking in the mirror, I hardly recognize the mom-body that I see.  Some of that is miraculous…the amazing ability to make milk and feed my baby..some people are unable to breast feed and so I feel completely blessed for the abundance of milk. Some is just a product of too much yogurt and expanded hips that had to carry around this peanut.  So I get to shop for some temporary clothes (I hope) to wear for now.
   On the Eli front…the gas had really begun to be a problem, he was in severe pain, shrieking and crying out when he toots and tries to poop.  It was heart-breaking.  It continued despite my giving him milocon, watching my diet, and burping him during feedings.  After calling the doctor's office, I learned I am supposed to give milocon prior to feeding not after or during which is what I was doing. (duh…I am a moron.) Also they encouraged me to do dairy free as well as watch for all of the foods that can cause gas in infants--cabbage, cucumber, peppers, citrus, caffeine, carbonated beverages and pretty much anything that could give me gas or that I am allergic to…whew that doesn't leave a lot.  HOWEVER, when I am SO careful my Eli is a different baby…I made an agreement with myself that I would try their advice through the weekend…Friday was tough, I almost gave up, but then Saturday there was no crying at poop time and no tooting! Sunday was great also. Both nights were 4+ hours of sleep at a time because he wasn't waking up with gas and he slept in the packn' play without crying, putting himself to sleep.  So it is officially worth it!  I am on the most non-productive diet on the planet. It makes my baby happy though so I will do it.  I just have to learn what I am allowed to have and plan my meals better in advance…and hope he grows out of this like most babies who have allergies.  I feel certain it is the milk as I had a little lapse in judgement and ate something that had milk mixed into it…and we experienced a little setback this morning because of it.  I wouldn't have gone down the dairy road except that I have a cousin who had two little ones with milk sensitivities. Both of her kids grew out of it and she did formula with one and nursed the other.  I am committed to nursing but I am definitely going to do my best to find out for sure which foods are to blame through process of elimination or testing if necessary.
   Luckily, he is a great eater despite his discomfort. He has certainly gained weight and is thriving.  This morning he woke up in a great mood and smiled and flirted with me for a few hours.  Here are a few pictures from this week and last.
HUG magnet---yes he is!

Cute little outfit from some church friends! Thank you Millazzos!  He hasn't flown with daddy yet but maybe next year!

Snuggling with mommy 

Cool cat..ready for our morning walk

Stop number two at Cracker Barrel on his first road trip with Lucy and Ethyl.

He looked just like Neil with his expression…or maybe it was the snoring! HA!

Snuggled in tight in his carseat.

Stretching after the long trip.  Loved being held by Great-grandmother Sue

Learning to's hard to catch on camera

Razorback knit cap from Aunt Courtney…He can't wait to wear it.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

the kids these days

Something strange happened to me tonight…yes I am posting this at 1:30 am…I was awake, holding my newborn son and I had the overwhelming urge to pray (that isn't so strange but the subject of my prayer is…) for my son's future wife.  Yep you read correctly, I fully believe that Christ allows us to have feelings like that because they are needed.  I pray for the future wife of my son and for her parents. I pray that they love her as much as I love him.  I pray that they love Christ more.  I pray that she is well-fed, that they hold her, that they give her attention and love endlessly, but that they also teach her discipline.  I pray that they remain married and that they teach her about Jesus and His love for her.  I pray that they show her that she is beautiful in his sight and that she doesn't need to seek physical love or degrade herself for approval of men that don't see her worth.  I pray that she is a Proverbs 31 woman.  Lastly, I pray that I am able to teach my son to appreciate that woman and to know her when he meets her.  "Her worth is far more than rubies…" I don't know why I was prompted to pray that prayer but I know that those things are becoming far more rare these days.  WOW, becoming a mom is rough…I don't have enough to worry about for today. I am worrying about something years away and someone I don't even know yet.  Thank you Jesus for this precious little blessing!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Eli 6 weeks

Well, as predicted, I am posting much less than before. I'd say that considering all I have to do other than blogging and the fact that showering is a luxury right now that it is no surprise.  Eli and I were able to accompany my mom on a trip to Kansas for a long weekend.  This was his first out of town trip and he did incredible.  There were some issues with not wanting to go to bed on time the second night we were there and again tonight after sleeping all the way there and all the way home, but who could blame him.  I am always a little off after a trip too.  He also got to ride in the Moby all over Ikea, which was a blast for mom and Nana.  He got to meet lots of family that hadn't seen him yet.  He is still super gassy and after experimenting a little on my own, I decided to call and talk to a nurse today.  The verdict is continue with the anti-gas diet and also no lactose…Milocon prior to eating and see what happens.  I wouldn't care so much about the obnoxiously loud toots if he weren't also in pain with the gas and with a BM.  That will break your heart because there is so little you can do to help!.  We just recovered from a slight meltdown, let me tell you this little guy has a temper. Everyone is listing their things they are thankful for on facebook right now and I have to say mine tonight is the Moby wrap.  This thing is a miracle worker.  Little man cried off and on for an hour (thanks to me having caffeine plus time change plus recovering from the trip) finally after holding and nursing and rocking and a million times putting pacifier in and rocking the vibrating chair…I went and got the Moby and wrapped this peanut up.  I kid you not he was barely awake long enough for me to pee, change into pj pants and brush my teeth. (all of those things seem to be a luxury now).  The kid is unconscious now…I am just wondering how I am going to get him out and into his bed to sleep! It should be interesting to see what kinds of things we give in to just to make him happy. Never say never---I have learned that quickly! I was thinking the other day how life and your decision making process changes.  I never thought I'd have to make a choice between the risk of waking the sleeping baby vs. trying to hold in your pee overnight(can you say bladder infection?)  Also he makes the funniest faces and I just know he is going to have a hilarious personality!  He also got his first haircut tonight.  Just a trim over the ears but he has needed it since he was born.  Of course I saved the hair for his scrapbook! Another choice to make…get up to get the cord and load pics or wait and try to do it tomorrow.  See ya tomorrow friends!