You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise: you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely…For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:1-3,13,16

Sunday, February 13, 2011

What were you expecting?

I want to say how incredibly sorry I am and how guilty I have been feeling for not writing for over a week!  I have grown so dependent on the prayers and encouragement that the followers of this blog have given me and in return I feel that I owe it to everyone who is reading to keep you updated on what is happening with us and our journey.  Unfortunately, I also have to balance that with what my husband wants and what is fair to my family…. so I have waited until things were somewhat settled and I had permission to post.  I guess I should have just talked about other things but I just couldn't think of anything else to write!

That being said I am SOOOOO happy to announce that I am FINALLY …EXPECTING! yes It's true! that stinking Clomid did the trick.  I give 100% of the credit to GOD and he is so good and amazing in the way He works. I believe He used a lot of tools to make it happen and to continue to build my faith through this struggle.

I really had given up on January and was sure that I would be doing another round of Clomid because I took a test and got a negative result.  I took the test a little early, but I was sure that I was having so many symptoms that it would surely be positive and then it wasn't.  I will admit it. I cried. I prayed for strength, took a hot bath, listened to some praise songs (John Waller) and resolved to remain positive and wait for my next chance.  I already had the next round of Clomid and I just needed to wait until my period started to get back on cycle.  But it never came! So I finally took another test and it was positive!  We got to go last week for our first OB appointment and were able to see and hear the little heartbeat.  Because of the crazy weather stuff Neil was able to go with me and hear and see it too.

So I am 6 weeks and 5 days today.  Our official due date is October 4!  I have been sick for the last week, but at least I have a happy reason.  I am hoping that part will end soon as I think Neil is already getting tired of me laying around and not eating much.  I do realize that it is still very early but after reaching the milestone of hearing the heartbeat, it would not save me any sadness if we were to wait to tell anyone.  The support and prayers that I will receive by announcing it are way too important to wait.  Also I know that at this point I need all the help I can get whether the news is good or bad.

I really am just praising God right now for His wonderous works.  We can't begin to thank everyone for their prayers and love and encouragement.  I plan to put as much information on here as I can.  I sometimes tend to be a little too honest so Neil will probably have to censor me a little.  Please continue praying for us for strength and good health and growth of this precious cargo.

I also want to ask that you continue praying for the Mullins family and all of those that were close with Vanessa.  I know they will continue to struggle with the loss of their mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.

Lastly, also please pray for K and D, my friends who are adopting from Africa.  They have an official court-date and will be going to meet their little one very soon, but will have to wait to bring him home until their second visit.  I can't imagine how difficult it will be to leave him after holding him and hugging him.  I am praying for his safety already and for their safety in travel.  Thanks again for all of your support and love!